Cheers to 2013, Hello 2014

I know, I know, I'm late to the whole year recap thing, but better late than never. Besides, we are on the first page of a 365 pages long new chapter and even though I mocked the idea of the calendar changing to be something important to a human life just yesterday, I can imagine it to be a good milestone to recollect past happenings and to re-evaluate ones life. To be honest sometimes I'm convinced that studying sociology is the best thing for me, considering how much I like to overanalyse things like New Year.

I'm not sure if I'm ever able to say: "This was my best year". Every year has had its ups and downs. I remember December 2012 was rough; I was pretty depressed and sad. One evening shortly before the year ended I remember crying my eyes out because I couldn't take it no more. What was it? Life in general. You see I started last year not in the best mood, and I continued it until halfway through February. Then the first step on my recovery happened, it was the day that I was offered the money to go on that mission trip that I talked about in an earlier post. It was something that didn't have to do with my problems considering finding a job and a flat for college, but it was a sign that everything might turn out just alright somehow.

I recently checked through my diary and read the things I wrote last year. I couldn't help but smile. In march I wrote that I finally felt like I was on the upgrade as I had found a job and about two weeks later I was approached by my youth pastor and asked if I wanted to become a youth group leader. Of course I also like March because it was my birthday and finally because I filmed my first ever YouTube video in the middle of the month. It was pretty awesome.

In April I started working, which was tiring but I was so happy to be finally doing something again. Also I actually became a youth group leader. May and June were month when nothing very spectacular happened, at least nothing that is really worth to be mentioned. July I only remember having to work more, being exhausted and also preparing for Mallorca. Also throughout this time I was tutoring a friend of mine in English which was something that I quite liked. Last but not least I found a flat, even though I was very sceptical about that, but it didn't end up quite as bad. 

August was Mallorca, which definitely marks the highlight of my year. The best part about it? I'm coming back this year! During this time I also grew back closer to a friend who I wasn't that close anymore before. September meant moving out and starting University. A huge step for me, a real adventure but a good one. 

My favourite about October definitely was going to Germany in order to visit the people I met in Mallorca. That was another adventure. I went there with the friend I grew closer again, but I wanted to meet someone from Stuttgart before heading over to Karlsruhe, so it was my first time going to a foreign country on my own and it was also the first time to organize a travel. I know it's nothing huge, but for me it meant quite something. It showed to me once more that I want to keep crossing my own boundaries and get past the things I know. That adventure included being a total minority, seeing dear friends and even going to visit a prison. Pretty cool.

November was challenging. I did my first "preach" in front of my youth group which made me very nervous. I'm not very good with standing in front of people, but I aim to be, so I'm not afraid to work on that. I'm pretty ok with how it went in the end. Besides there was NaNoWriMo, and busy weekends in general as everything seemed to be crammed into the last two month of the year.

December was rough, family drama deluxe, studying for finals, Christmas, and New Year. I struggled again but I told myself to keep looking on the bright spots, the support of my friends, the dance we had at our church and the fact that I survived my first semester and that I could take a break again. The past few days were chaotic but alright in the end. 

After some shenanigans on Sunday I found my eyes to feel rather sore which turned out to be an eye infection. The problem was that I had promised to co-host my church's New Years Eve party and that we had nothing planned. After going to the doctor yesterday he gave me an ok to go, but sadly the other co-host was sick. So yesterday included running to the doctor's, calling a friend very humbly to ask if he would co-host with me (which to my utter surprise he agreed to do), helping to set up the decoration, planning somewhat of a program to entertain the crowd for a while, hosting and besides, trying not to infect anyone and finally actually enjoying myself within that chaos. It all worked out, probably largely because said friend not only stepped in as co-host, but also as technician filling the gap that a sick organiser leaves behind. Even though he does not read my blog, a massive thank you once again. Good to know I have friends that I can spontaneously count on.

To be fair that is not even close to what went on during this year, but all that I thought to be important enough to mention. The year in general was filled with friends, laughter, beautiful and unforgettable moments and as I said, ups and downs. I can't wait for all the exciting new things that 2014 will bring the adventures and the challenges. It better be great!

Cheerio.

Reflective in perspective

Imagine. You just moved house and you walk down the street in front of your new place. There are some houses that you get past during your little exploration. You see a swing set in the yard of one house. You think to yourself that there might be a family with kids living there. As you walk on an elderly couple crosses your path and you smile at them politely. But be careful, there is a women approaching fast. Her dog is pulling her forwards. Finally you arrive at the end of the street, where you see an old mansion that has already started to look a little rotten. Whilst you followed the main street, you missed taking one of the small pavements leaving to big apartment houses a little farther away. You see them from a distance, but you can't imagine how many turns the street might take until you get there.

Now back to today. Five years later you call this place your home. You know that the swing set belongs to the gay couple living there. They've just never took the time to get rid of it. The women that basically ran towards you, is blind. Her dog is supposed to help her, but back than it was very young and not yet as well trained as it is today. Sadly the elderly couple doesn't excist in this form anymore. He died two years ago and she is now in a nursing home. You really liked them because they always seemed so happy, even after being married for nearly fifty years. Sometimes they've told you stories from their life and you sat on their porch for hours in a row. The old mansion once was a place were homeless could find a save place for the night, but they run out of money and had to give it up. Three years ago the government destroyed it and now they are planning more apartment houses. Finally the houses you saw from afar? Your best friend lives there. You walk the streets nearly every day and you could almost walk it blind. It's like a second home for you that you got to love over the time.

So of course all of these things where imaginative, but I wanted to get across a point. It's okay to make assumptions over something, but be open to let them go. Try to remember a place or a person before you really knew them, when they were still exciting and new. Think of the shell you saw, not the things that lie behind. We live in a world where we judge things by only seeing. If we stick around though we forget what we saw and start to see with our hearts. I think both are important. Sometimes it is important to take a step back and look at what was our original thought, what inspired us. Don't give up on something just because it hasn't lived up to your expectations. If it isn't worthwhile, try to make it. Maybe all you need is another point of view. Don't judge a book by its cover, but never lose track of the whole picture either. Just remember to remember.

So now I'm off for some adventures. See you in about two weeks or so :D

Cheerio.

The big Comeback?

Once again I can see how good I am at sticking to something. To be honest, if life had a "give-up" button then I'd have it pushed a while ago. As an unemployed person who is in need for money, in order to go to college next year I feel like I should be writing job applications till I drop death. But instead I'm doing way less important stuff like watching YouTube videos. What does that have to do with books? Not much, but it has with blogging in general, as I watched a lot of vlogs lately.

I wanted to blog because I felt like there was something I had to tell, even if it was only my own opinion. Then I stopped even though there was still stuff to be told, stories to write. I'm never really dedicated to something because I feel like I'll fail anyway.

Recently, when I watched charlieissocoollike's, danisnotonfire's and itswaypastmybedtime's videos I realized something. They all want their viewers to be someone, to get up their lazy asses. They might be scared to create, as Charlie said lately, but still they moved past that, they never forgot who they were, what they achieved so far.

I enjoy writing, like a lot. I love my two stories that I'm working on and ever since watching the princess diaries in 4th grade I wanted to write, whether in a diary or more. More or less my whole life I spent reading, and I had pen pals before I was able to write properly. The sad thing about this is, I've never ever stuck to anything; I've never showed enough passion ever. Now it might be time to grow up and do that, as I'm no child anymore. There even is a bible quote concerning that. Luke 16, 10: He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much. (I really don't like this translation, but I'm too lazy to search for a better one) It might be time to be faithful in the little things.

I'm not Charlie, nor Dan or Carrie. I'm not even Bryarly, who reminded me with her blog that I have one too, that I once tried to start things. I'm an unknown girl and I'm sure that I won't be anything more, at least not soon, because I do not have a network. But who knows, sometimes it happens, life is unexpected. All I know is that there is only a possibility that somebody reads this, and is inspired, if a write it and not keep it to myself in fear. There is no way for me to always expect good things to fly to me automatically; I need to get my hands dirty first, need to work for it. So here I am, just another no one who tries to start something. It might be in vain, and you find it boring, but at least I tried, right?