Women Vs. Men

Recently I put quite a lot of thoughts into the ideas of roles. Is there something typical for a man that he really needs to fulfill? What about me as a woman, what points are given to me that I cannot ignore. We'll have those themes in my youth group next year, more exactly the topic is: Guys need to become men and women may stay women. (EDIT: The topic is now called differently)

This bothers me quite a lot. Nowadays it's pretty rough to bring up kids. For example, I'd encourage parents to life certain roles and raise their children towards them. Not by punishment if the kid doesn't want to, but to encourage them. I think it's perfectly fine for boys to play LEGO and for girls to play with dolls. That doesn't mean I don't tolerate it the other way around, but I can't understand people who say that we should give no boundaries to kids. It is strange if a little boy wants to wear skirts, it simply is. He doesn't understand what he is doing, and our world isn't ready for that anyway, he'll just have a rough childhood for nothing.

I know about transgender and about gay people and I have nothing against them, but for me a child can't decide and is easy influenced by its parents. At this stage it should have guidelines, which it can throw over as a teenager. We all change when we grow up, we leave behind most of the stuff our parents told us and we become our own human being. In that time we can decided for ourselves completely and we start to understand the consequences following to our doing. To be honest this topic is way to delicate to write about it, so don't get me wrong.

Back to the quote about men and women. I don't want to "stay" a woman, I want to become one. A woman isn't the same as a housewife, but it isn't a "bra burner" either. In my mind, a woman is strong, but not afraid to show weakness. She is able to live her life on her own, but might choose to share it with a partner and even kids, depending on what she wants. A woman knows herself, is able to accept help and all in all, she is dedicated to whatever she does. I want to become such a person, but I'm far from that.

I grew up in a Christian household and I still believe in that whole heartily. My mum never thought me that I couldn't become anything, she never gave me limits. With god everything is possible, that's what I know. I don't like the picture that is drawn of Christians these days; I might compose another post about that later. Anyway, I'm curious to find out what our youth pastor has to say about women staying women.

Now let's talk about men. I know a lot of guys that were very immature when they were about fourteen. I couldn't stand being around them, it made me furious. Now they've grown up and are still childish, which is no problem. My best male friends all kept their little boy inside alive, but the important fact is that they matured, they’ve become reasonable and they learned when it's ok to be all funny and when they should be serious.

Recently I talked with a female friend of mine how guys in their late teens suffer a lot of pressure. You need to be strong and independent, earn a lot of money and have the right woman on your side or you are worth nothing. What about the sensitive boys out there? They are forced to change, they are not considered men. Gay guys aren't considered men either, and for me this is kind of wrong, their sexuality doesn't change their gender.

Gender seems in fact to be unbelievable complicated and that annoys me. For me it's clear you are either male or female, except for when you have a genetically disease. Again, transgender are too either male or female, they just decide to change from one to the other. But to become a man or a woman, there is more than just genetics.

Sorry that this was so long and a bit confusing, have a nice day though.

Being different is so mainstream

Hi there. It's usually like this, I start something and get uberly excited, can't sleep at night because good thoughts flood my mind, but the next day? Nothing happens. To be impatient is a hard destiny, that's for sure. It's not like I want to write a post every day, that might just spam my blog for no good reason, but I want to stick to it and how that is possible I need yet to figure out.

After watching some more videos today I realized something. My generation isn't supposed to work their ass off during week days and then to party on the weekends. We can see the examples of people working on their dreams, achieving their goals. Those are the role models of my generation, youtubers, young people with their own business, freelancer, innovators. To marry at young age and then having a family, to work hard in your office job, that's not a live that teenagers and young adults these days want to achieve.

I can relate to that, I mean who really wants that? But on the other hand I feel the pressure to be special, creative, to be myself even though I don't even know who I am. For me it looks like the world wants me to be something, even though I might never be able to get there, just because I can't, just because being special isn't one of my possibilities. There are people meant to be just another fish in the ocean I guess. Yes I said yesterday,  I want to become a someone, I want to use the potential in me that is yet unused, but if everybody is as special as they think they are, how is that still something? Is there even light when darkness is gone forever? We need a contrast, to be different, we need the mainstream.

This thing I call mainstream these days is everywhere. For example, once wearing cat ears made you an outcast, or in nicer words, different. Today I can walk into an H&M store to buy a hat with them on it. People, who thought being on the internet the whole day was weird, start to invest their time on tumblr and take it seriously. The web suddenly is as popular as the TV used to be, and that kind of bothers me.

Frankly, I've never been on a side, I did never claim to be outstanding an outsider as some of my friends used to call themselves proudly. But I've never been totally up to date either. Always I've searched my way through all the different style movements, trying not to lose track of either side. That's why I never stood out, why I think of myself as boring. The good thing about that is, that I feel kind of neutral, not very biased on either side. That's why I feel like adding a third side to a conversation, the reason I am writing those lines. Maybe someday you'll read them, more probable nobody ever will.

The big Comeback?

Once again I can see how good I am at sticking to something. To be honest, if life had a "give-up" button then I'd have it pushed a while ago. As an unemployed person who is in need for money, in order to go to college next year I feel like I should be writing job applications till I drop death. But instead I'm doing way less important stuff like watching YouTube videos. What does that have to do with books? Not much, but it has with blogging in general, as I watched a lot of vlogs lately.

I wanted to blog because I felt like there was something I had to tell, even if it was only my own opinion. Then I stopped even though there was still stuff to be told, stories to write. I'm never really dedicated to something because I feel like I'll fail anyway.

Recently, when I watched charlieissocoollike's, danisnotonfire's and itswaypastmybedtime's videos I realized something. They all want their viewers to be someone, to get up their lazy asses. They might be scared to create, as Charlie said lately, but still they moved past that, they never forgot who they were, what they achieved so far.

I enjoy writing, like a lot. I love my two stories that I'm working on and ever since watching the princess diaries in 4th grade I wanted to write, whether in a diary or more. More or less my whole life I spent reading, and I had pen pals before I was able to write properly. The sad thing about this is, I've never ever stuck to anything; I've never showed enough passion ever. Now it might be time to grow up and do that, as I'm no child anymore. There even is a bible quote concerning that. Luke 16, 10: He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much. (I really don't like this translation, but I'm too lazy to search for a better one) It might be time to be faithful in the little things.

I'm not Charlie, nor Dan or Carrie. I'm not even Bryarly, who reminded me with her blog that I have one too, that I once tried to start things. I'm an unknown girl and I'm sure that I won't be anything more, at least not soon, because I do not have a network. But who knows, sometimes it happens, life is unexpected. All I know is that there is only a possibility that somebody reads this, and is inspired, if a write it and not keep it to myself in fear. There is no way for me to always expect good things to fly to me automatically; I need to get my hands dirty first, need to work for it. So here I am, just another no one who tries to start something. It might be in vain, and you find it boring, but at least I tried, right?