Being different is so mainstream

Hi there. It's usually like this, I start something and get uberly excited, can't sleep at night because good thoughts flood my mind, but the next day? Nothing happens. To be impatient is a hard destiny, that's for sure. It's not like I want to write a post every day, that might just spam my blog for no good reason, but I want to stick to it and how that is possible I need yet to figure out.

After watching some more videos today I realized something. My generation isn't supposed to work their ass off during week days and then to party on the weekends. We can see the examples of people working on their dreams, achieving their goals. Those are the role models of my generation, youtubers, young people with their own business, freelancer, innovators. To marry at young age and then having a family, to work hard in your office job, that's not a live that teenagers and young adults these days want to achieve.

I can relate to that, I mean who really wants that? But on the other hand I feel the pressure to be special, creative, to be myself even though I don't even know who I am. For me it looks like the world wants me to be something, even though I might never be able to get there, just because I can't, just because being special isn't one of my possibilities. There are people meant to be just another fish in the ocean I guess. Yes I said yesterday,  I want to become a someone, I want to use the potential in me that is yet unused, but if everybody is as special as they think they are, how is that still something? Is there even light when darkness is gone forever? We need a contrast, to be different, we need the mainstream.

This thing I call mainstream these days is everywhere. For example, once wearing cat ears made you an outcast, or in nicer words, different. Today I can walk into an H&M store to buy a hat with them on it. People, who thought being on the internet the whole day was weird, start to invest their time on tumblr and take it seriously. The web suddenly is as popular as the TV used to be, and that kind of bothers me.

Frankly, I've never been on a side, I did never claim to be outstanding an outsider as some of my friends used to call themselves proudly. But I've never been totally up to date either. Always I've searched my way through all the different style movements, trying not to lose track of either side. That's why I never stood out, why I think of myself as boring. The good thing about that is, that I feel kind of neutral, not very biased on either side. That's why I feel like adding a third side to a conversation, the reason I am writing those lines. Maybe someday you'll read them, more probable nobody ever will.