We had
flirting, we had dating, and the most obvious conclusion for this trio would be
talking about relationships. My problem with that is the fact that I have zero
personal experience with that. To top I think I could even admit that the past
few month I’ve even been a very happy single. I don’t see the point in fixing
myself on one person at this stage of my life. I’m free, I have two regular
jobs, live at two places, have different circles of friends and all in all,
there are not much boundaries that I have left. If I had a boyfriend then I
would have to take time for him. I usually try to keep up with my friends, but
being in a relationship means being exclusive, having some obligations. Plus I
doubt that I have met the right guy yet.
Apart from
lacking the urge to tie myself to some random dude I’m still secretly an expert
with relationships. That’s something that is actually quite common, people with
low experience but with somewhat of a natural understanding giving relationship
advice to others. Don’t ask me why. Most of my knowledge is out of reading way
too many books. You get a lot of love stories in almost every book, huge
varieties of situations, different couples. Also it helps to talk with people,
older ones, younger ones, people who have had a relationship that failed,
people who go strong for a while... It’s not that hard to figure some points
out.
The first
real I was thought about guys by my parents was: never start a relationship if
you could not imagine marring that person in the long run. Keep everything in
perspective. I’m totally against too much pressure, especially in the beginning
as this phase should be enjoyed by the couple; on the other hand it’s crucial
to be aware where exactly you stand. There was enough insecurity when both
people had not yet confessed their feelings. After all, to be genuinely open is
very important. It’s not about picking a fight every time your significant
other makes a little move that annoys you, but if you’re constantly unhappy, if
it’s something that bothers you every time it happens then it’s probably best
to just speak it out as soon as possible.
The third
point is that while it is important for you to spend time together, you also
should not forget about your friends. It’s very likely that forgetting the
first will not happen so easily, I have seen enough people who happen to lose
every little bit of focus as soon as their “other half” walks in. What I’ve
seen and heared about a lot though is that people forget to find room in their
agenda for people who are not that one person. Of course enjoy the pink bubble
your in, but if everything falls apart, which has happened before and will
happen again, then you need to be sure to have people that pick you up from the
ground. I have lost a dear friend to a guy who forbid her to meet me and her
other close friends, due to a misunderstanding. Even when I apologizes, ceveral
times, he ignored it. That was the moment when I promised myself never to let
that happen to me and about three girls around me have the official allowance
to slap me if I forget about that ;)
Finally the
forth advice: Enjoy it. There is a saying that goes; love as if you’ve never
been hurt. I think when most of us grow up we lose our hearts once or twice,
maybe more. As far as I know that does not end well in many cases. It’s ok to
get ones heart broken, but you should never allow yourself to break too. Don’t
get cold heated, it would be a loss to the world.
I think,
unlike the “holiday” that tries to celebrate it generally, that love is great.
Celebrate it every day, find a date that is special to just the two of you
instead of focusing on the world and what you have to do after what society
says. Love is unique and not to be put in a box of chocolate!
I hope you
have a lovely day, embrace singlehood or celebrate your partner, it’s probably
where you are supposed to be right now.
Cheerio.
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