I kind of wanted to write a post about dating, guys and lovey dovey stuff in general for a while now and I thought now was the perfect time as we are approaching valentine’s day. Now don’t get me wrong, in my opinion this day means nothing, except that it will be the third year in a row that I’ll use it as an opportunity to bake something with one of my best friends. Instead f writing one gigantic post this will be the start of a short series containing three parts, all of which will be uploaded this week. That might hopefully lead to me being more active of a blogger once more.
The first topic I want to tackle today is flirting. Now I really think that the amount of flirting in my life was very limited until the last couple of months. It took me long enough to be able to normally talk to guys so I do not wonder why it went slowly with that form of communication. Before I actually dig into it, first I want to state some things. What is and is not considered flirting is something that could lead to an enduring philosophical discussion. I leave it up to yourself to decide what it actually means for you. I know that I’m a person who does consider things to be flirty after just a little, but I also go very easy on it and do not take it seriously. It consists of a lot of teasing with a twist, but what that means is once again hard to pinpoint. My best advice is to be fluent in sarcasm and irony for this task, but it’s not necessary by any means.
You send out some signals, non-verbally and verbally but depending on what kind of person you are it means more or less. I don’t think that it’s easy for anyone to figure out when I’m really interested and when I’m just messing around a bit, whilst with other people it’s more than obvious what their intentions are because they are usually less out there. Most of the time it’s the easiest way for me to communicate with male specimen in general so you’ll most probably see me do it.
Women can be easily lulled into something by a man who knows his words. I catch me every once in a while that I talk to a guy who actually just pushes the right buttons and thus makes me at least the tiniest bit interested. When I was younger that was the source of some problems as I did not understand how much of a game flirting is. It’s like a dance, you approach and get apart, you attract and repel. As in every game there is also the possibility of a loser. That happens when one participant, and I mean only one, forgets about the game aspect and well, falls in love. Been there, done that, it’s not fun. When both feel the same, then congratulation, you got to the next level, relationship.
The perks of flirting are huge. If you do it right you can bring a guy to talk about a lot of things, it helps you get to know them. As I said it involves a lot of teasing and that makes it easier for people to engage in a conversation as you give them room to defend themselves. Also it’s exciting and fun. Depending on the guy I have on the opposite of me, my heart races a little and I enjoy my days a lot more ;)
The best thing is when you actually get something back. I said I don’t take those kind of things seriously anymore, at least not that much, and that is kind of the clue to successful flirting. You want payback for anything, you are not talking to a wall. When I used to focus so much about what the other person might think of me I appeared to be so stiff and insecure that it couldn’t have been fun to have a conversation with me. At some point it stopped luckily, I was way more open and well, I genuinely decided that I liked that bit of tension that you can cause between two people. It’s kind of mean but as easier it is for you to dally a bit, the more chances you’ll get to do it. Men seem to sense it, they see how comfortable you are and they react to it, that’s why I think I have flirted more the last couple of days. It was mostly just responding to whatever kind of attention I got from the opposite gender.
So let me conclude swiftly: Flirting, to me, means talking, chatting, teasing or whatever with a person you might or might not be attracted to. It is not to be confused with having real intentions; neither do you want to hurt the other person. It’s all about playing a game and having fun, no harm intended. It is supposed to be uncomplicated and with no strings attached, at least that’s how I see it. I hope you can enjoy the one or the other good flirt in the future, you never know where it actually gets you in the end. Finally the definitions and executions of it differ from person to person.
Stay tuned for the second part of this little series
Cheerio.
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