I mean every word of what I wrote above, but it's also a good introduction to what I want to write about today. I bet every single one of us has been in the situation yet where things happened that weren't good. No matter if it was your fault, or the other person, arguments happen, people get disappointed and there is for sure a lot of frustration going on. I thought I could share with you the pieces of advice I gathered considering that topic.
First of all if someone does something that gets to you in a negative way, just tell them. There is no use in being angry with someone and not telling them, they might not even have realized that they did wrong. Having an open conversation never did no harm, and if it leads to a proper argument then there is a reason for it. There are people who get anger issues just because they are unable to talk about their feelings. Trust me; you prefer having a fight over being angry for the next twenty years.
First leads to second, before you actually go and announce a problem you should calm down first. I remember about three month ago a friend of mine did something that seriously pissed me off. It kind of included some other people who I knew wouldn't be around for very long, so I decided to wait till they had left. When I finally got to talk to that person I wasn’t madly angry anymore, but I still knew that she had to apologize or at least admit that she kind of did the wrong thing. We actually solved the whole thing like the true adults we (sometimes) are, but when I imagine what could've gone wrong and how we could've be mad at each other for a long time I'm happy how it ended up.
As a third point I have the whole thing about apologies. I remember as a kid when I acted up my Mum would accept my apology instantly, but she wouldn't make me feel like she forgave me before I actually said the words. Of course she was not angry for long, but I had to apologize first. Sometimes it felt, and it still does, like losing, as if saying I'm sorry is the equivalent of saying I'm weak. It is not. Admitting your own flaws shows that you are strong, but also that you are humble. It is strength and a virtue.
Now there is an important thing about apologies to be added. If you do it, then mean it. It shouldn't be a psychological trick or something. Also absolutely distance your words from what the other person might respond. Maybe he or she doesn't accept because you screwed up big time, maybe they need time as forgiveness is a process that can take a while. If that happens, deal with it, after all you just admitted having been an idiot, no need to commit idiocy once more right now. On the other hand we can assume that most of the time not only you did something wrong, but also the other person. Just because you seem to be reasonable and you show sense, doesn't determine that the other person does too. It would be great, yes, but your apology is a one man show.
Oh and while we are at it, after admitting that you are a douchbag you could actually try to be less of a douchbag in the future, that would be very lovely and appreciated!
Let’s just say I got the utmost surprising apology of my entire life today and it kind of got overshadowed just hours after it. Still, if it was sincere then I appreciate it big time and I’m glad it took place anyway. It shows at least certain things. Sorry, not much of a specification here but some things are supposed to stay off the internet.
Anyway, I can’t promise to become a better blogger the next few weeks, but I’ll keep on trying my best.
Cheerio.
No comments:
Post a Comment