Dear Society, screw you

Disclaimer: Society is for me a universal voice, but like a statistic, it isn't one person alone, but the mass of people in the world.

As I already said, I don't have a job, and as a person doing a gap year I should either be working, traveling or doing something useful. Well I obviously don't. So when it comes to meeting an old friend with whom I haven't caught up for a while and I get asked what I'm up to at the moment the situation gets difficult.

Usually I start with the fact that I graduated Highschool (in Switzerland you have to go to school for at least nine years. Going to Highschool and doing twelve years is an option; the other possibility is an on-the-job apprenticeship which is equally accepted). The fact that I graduated and that I am allowed to go to university is on the plus side.

Of course the other person is interested what I study. Taking a year off is ok, people nod in agreement when I say that. After that the worst comes. "So, what do you then? “ That's the moment when I awkwardly stare at my feet but answering is still inevitable. I start with saying that I worked a bit in summer and then I start mumbling about not having a job. People then get that look on their faces, pity mixed with something else, something that makes me feel bad for not being part of the well oiled machine that is society.

Sometimes I don't even know what's worse anymore. Is it the fact that I'm not satisfied with my own life, how I'm living it, or is it that I get those looks every time my friends and sometimes even strangers give me. 

That's not the only place where I and society do not get together. I already said in the post about my believes. I get a marked stupid as soon I say that for me it's obvious that there's a god. I get weird looks from some of my friends because I'm not into science, that I'm more of a philosophy and psychology person. You need to calculate chances to survive these days, but I don't want to, I want to be alive, not just working. I seem always to be a little odd, a little out of place, not very much, not that I'm an outcast, but just not quite right. 

It just seems that we all should be perfect pretty people, just following the same path everybody else already did, not trying, but succeeding in everything we lay our hands on. As if there was no other way of living than 'that one'.

So I decided to ignore what society tells me, and that I want to filter what kind of advice people around me give. They can help, but in the end, we all go through life on our own. I have to get up and look in the mirror, knowing all I'll do today is spending time writing and I'll for sure enjoy that, even though I don't get money from that. It's on me, not on them!