To everything is a season

I have been thinking a lot about the concept of youth recently. By that I don't mean the whole media thing with youthful skin etc, no I just mean then part between teenage years and (young) adulthood. A friend of mine is getting married this summer and she recently said it will be the end of her youth. Another friend said that it was part of her youth to sit in a car with me and chat for hours. Both things together made me think about what I feel that youth is like, how I would determine it exactly, and I came up with a definition that somehow pleased me.

Youth is a time of taking up responsibility. As a kid, you can't take care of yourself. Your parents make all your appointments; they give you food, money, shelter, cloths. You don't really own anything. The older you get, the more is yours. Pocket money is the first time you get responsibility for your finances. You start to make your own appointments, with friends, the hairdresser or the dentist. At some points you will travel alone for the first time. I was 11 years old when I took a 1h train journey by myself for the first time. I went to see a friend and it all happened on very short notice. 

It all happens at a different pace for each individual, but it all happens at some point. When you are a teenager you are already kind of independent, at least in your late teens, most have either finished high school or some other form of basic education, if you want to stay out late, then you can, because you are either close to turning of age, or you are already. Your parents might still give you rules, but most leave you be, you should be old enough to judge a matter.

That's when youth starts for me, when you are old enough to judge, someone who is able to take care of themselves, a responsible human being. It is not exactly tied to an age, but more to a stage of mind. You may choose to take care for other people, but you are mostly supposed to take care of your own well being. Travel the world, study, go crazy. Just do it, because you are as independent as you'll ever be. Your future belongs to you alone-

Well why did my friend say that her youth was ending? She wasn't sad about the fact, just commenting on the inevitable. Also she was looking forward to this chapter to end I guess. Her youth in that sense is ending, because she won't be independent anymore. She will take up responsibility for her husband, for an "us" instead of a "me/I". Her youth is ending not because she is turning a certain age, but because all of a sudden she is tied to something. Something good I'd say, but still tied.

I asked myself what "makes" my youth. I feel like I’m currently in the middle of it. I have a lot of things going on and I’m happy with that busyness, even though it means that I am not always doing the things I need to do exactly when I have to do them. It’s all about priorities. My youth consists of long days and short nights. Late night talks, late nights going out, late nights reading, studying/ paper writing, watching movies, chatting on whatsapp, maybe even sleeping. Every once in a while I'll spend a night tossing and turning in my bed, because the future scares me. Throughout the day I work, go to church, go to uni, chat, drink tea/hot chocolate at starbucks, read, I write, enjoy my free time that I have to my own availability. I make plans on my own and I love nothing more than deciding spontaneously to do something. Those things I listed are not youth-only, but I guess that when I'm older I will tell stories of that.

I don't travel the world; I prefer seeing the world of my friends, of the people around me. I live through others, throughout those deep and honest conversations that just happen. I want to seize my youth as long as I am in this season, for when it ends for whatever reason, I'll have a feeling that it is indeed time to finish this chapter and start a new one. 

Until then, I'll have my fun right where I am at!

Cheerio.

Remember Remember, the Joys of November

Excuse the sneaky little V for Vendetta reference there, it just had to happen ok? Well today is December 3rd and it's time for me to look back on my favourite month. This hasn't always been this way, I still remember 2010, which was horrible. Ever since then though, every November is just predestined to be awesome

The first thing shouldn't be a novelty on this side. Since 2011, November is my favourite month cause of NaNoWriMo. Yes, December is cool cause of Christmas, and in March is my birthday, but the month long joy/stress/awesomeness of writing a novel isn't to be topped by anything else, sorry. This year was stressful in many ways. I wasn't sure about participating due to an absolute lack of plot. At the start of October I didn't feel like I was prepared at all. Then the month went on and still, absolute blankness in my head. A couple of days before NaNo started I went back to the forums, just to be sucked into the crazy once more. It's hard to quit when you see others getting prepared. On the 31th October I had this rough idea of a girl on a zeppelin, on the way to the colonies. Kind of steam-punk, also maybe including the early history of New Orleans and the Casquette-Girls. Instead of plotting more, I drew the characters, so when the hour struck, I was absolutely helpless, but still ready to fight.

I might not be very good at drawing, but I enjoyed this for sure

I set myself many different goals through the month. One was as always to win by the 15th, so I could do Uni stuff that I was required to do during the second half. As most of my plans, that didn't work out. It wasn't helpful that I do have a demanding social live, a conference at my church on the second weekend, a weekend-long trip to Germany during the third  and work and a housewarming party on the fourth, plus two papers due on the fifth. Throughout the week I had to go to classes obviously, also we had this project going on at work that had to be done by the and of November. No writing time there either. Oh, and may I add the time spend with friends chilling and the birthday surprise party we threw for the flatmate? The more I think of it the more astonished I get on how on earth I even considered winning it.

In addition to that, as ever year we had chat-rooms. Like last year my time was spend in two of them for the most. The swissnanos and the Burmingham-Westmidlands, as we made friends there last year. The good thing were the people who are all completely utterly bonkers.

The bad thing was, how to focus when there is so much funny things going on there too?In addition to a life at uni and a life at home, I also had to deal with an online life. That is lovely on the one hand side, but it is not helpful when trying to squeze words out of your brain. Though I have to add that I would've never made it to the finish-line without these nutters supporting me and cheering for me to keep going.

Jup you read it right. I did not make it by the 15th, but by 11 o'clock on the 30th November, I hit 50'000 words. The last weekend was the worst. I still was around 15 k away and I had two papers to hand in. That meant having to pull through two all-nighters, one keeping me up till 4 am, the other till 5 am. I can't speak for the quality of my papers, but they were handed in in time, which was all that mattered to me then. On Sunday, I broke my highest amount of words in a day, which now is 8,9 k. My computer crashed which almost lead to me losing more than 5k words (I was able to fix it and only lose 700, but those 5 mins where terrifying). Special thanks to two insomniacs at this point, it was an honour having you with me during those nights.


This year was my hardest battle for winning NaNo so far. I present to you the stats of someone, who really overestimated them self, but fought till the end. I might also add, that this is only the second year for me to win with working on one story only. One is allowed to work on multiple projects and add the words, but that is considered rebelling. So instead of winning on the 15th, I won without rebelling this year, which makes me proud too. My story is a mess and I'm not even anywhere near a good point to finish, but NaNo this year was a true blast. Thanks to the #swissingham people, you are crazy in the best ways. Thanks to the purple elephants, thanks to the Brummies and the Swissnanos.

Oh, and sorry for all the people that were cut short this month, or for everyone that had to work with me. It was not easy, I try to focus on real live this month though (and all the tests, yay) .

Once again, NaNoWriMo for me means being crazy. I have a lot of madness inside of me and I try to push it down for 335 day of the year, 30 days of just forgetting about that makes me feel the happiest I can be. Having a story that came in your mind last minute? No problem. A new character you never planned? Sure. Bloody vampires out of nowhere? What has to happen happens. Of course in that process I get sad and confused and frustrated, but once again, all I can say is that I love love love it and if you ask me, I would do it again in no time, cause it is simply worth it to me.

Well that was my November experience, stressful but worth it. Sometimes it is just really nice to have something you can always look forward to. Is there there something like that for you too?

Cheerio.